


Despicable We

by irls_goaway



Category: Despicable Me (Movies)
Genre: 2 am writing sessions, Alternate Universe - High School, Coming Out, Enemies, Graduation, Growing Up Together, M/M, Pining, Rivalry, no editing we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:07:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24211093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irls_goaway/pseuds/irls_goaway
Summary: It's the friends to enemies (to lovers) trope, but with Gru and Vector.Also, "lovers" is a gross word I promise I'll never say it again.
Relationships: Felonius Gru/Victor "Vector" Perkins, Vector/Gru
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Despicable We

**Author's Note:**

> someone teach me how to punctuate quotations.

_ It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. _ No, Gru couldn’t start his college essay like that. He couldn’t figure out how to begin it for the life of him. He’d written everything else out, but he couldn’t figure out a good introduction. Everything was either too cliche or boring as hell. He tried not to think about how it was a Friday night and he was sitting alone in a dark room writing and re-writing the same sentence over and over again. His girlfriend, Lucy, had invited him to a party, but he declined her offer so he could stay home and work on his applications. Okay, yeah it was kind of sad.

If that wasn’t sad enough, Gru actually had a house full of guests downstairs, whom he was actively trying to avoid. His mother and Mrs. Perkins had been best friends since they met in the second grade. Back when Gru was a kid, their families would have Friday night dinners together every week. As the years went on, the number of people who actually attended the family dinners shrunk. The first to stop going to the dinners was Gru’s father when he also left Gru and his mother, taking his twin brother, Dru, with him.

Gru didn’t like how personal all the college essay questions were. Or perhaps he was just an emotionally unavailable idiot who hated sharing anything other than how he was liking the weather. No, it was definitely the questions.

“Felonius!” Gru’s mother called out, “Come say goodbye to the Perkins!”

Gru’s mother and substitute teachers were the only people who still called him by his real name. If you were named Felonius, you had to be really cool not to seem like a complete asshat, and well, Gru was sitting alone in his room writing an essay while the rest of his school was at a party.

“Felonius! Honey!”

Gru finally left his room and hesitantly climbed down the stairs. It was rare for Vector to show up to a family dinner, but occasionally it would seem his parents would not take no for an answer. However, today it seemed that Gru was in luck and Vector was able to persuade his parents.

“Honey, say goodbye.”

“Goodbye Mr. and Mrs. Perkins.” Gru tried his best to seem at least a little bit happy to see them.

Mr. and Mrs. Perkins were always very nice to Gru, even after he and Vector stopped being friends. They would always say things like, “We’re like your second parents.” and, “You’re like our son, Gru.” They were great people, but it was just awkward being around the parents of your kind-of enemy. Still, he didn’t want to be rude.

“Goodbye Gru. Hopefully, if you’re not too busy, you can come to our house next week for Thanksgiving.” Mrs. Perkins said. Gru could tell she wasn’t even being facetious. 

He smiled and nodded, “Hopefully.”

The Perkins exchanged some more goodbyes with his mother, but Gru didn’t stick around to listen to them. He quietly walked back to his room and sat back down at his desk.

After another fifteen minutes of trying to find a good opener, Gru gave up and opened up his phone. He had three missed calls from Lucy, and one from Bob. Gru clicked on Lucy’s contact name and put the phone up to his ear.

A loud blare of music came out of his phone, startling Gru a bit.

So Lucy was still at the party.

“Hey Lucy, sorry, my phone was on silent while I was working on my essay.” Gru had to shout over the music coming from Lucy’s end in order to hear himself.

“Gruuuuuuuuu…” Lucy mumbled through the phone.

So Lucy was also completely blasted.

“Lucy, are you drunk?”

“Is your mmmooOom drunk?” Lucy said, with long pauses between words, as though it took her every ounce of energy she had in her body to think of the next word.

“Lucy, do you need me to come pick you up?”

“You’re so bORINg. You never come to parties with me.”

Gru sighed. He wasn’t boring. He was just busy.

“Lucy, who’s driving you home?”

“Ummm…Stuart said he would drive me home. Did you know that you can drink seven shots of tequila, and you won’t even get drUnk? I swear, you wo-”

The line went dead.

Gru tried to call Lucy again, but she didn’t pick up. He texted her telling her to text him once she got home or woke up, whichever came first.

Lucy texted him the next day, confirming that she was safe, just very hungover. Gru, still feeling a little bit annoyed, left her on read. Gru worked on his essay for the rest of the weekend. It took a while, but eventually, he came up with an opening he was satisfied with.

Monday morning, Gru picked up Lucy to go to school since her car was in the shop. It seemed that she either didn’t notice or didn’t care that he was irritated because she kept going on and on about some new trend on an app that Gru didn’t care for.

He walked her to first period and had to speed walk across the school to get to physics in time. 

Getting to physics in time actually meant getting there ten minutes early to get a good seat. In Gru’s mind, a good seat was any seat that wasn’t next to Smelly Kelly, that couple that gets a bit too handsy, or Victor Perkins.

The rest of the school week passed by uneventfully. Friday night, Gru just wanted to stay in his room and play some World of Warcraft, but his mother had other plans.

“Felonius, it’s Thanksgiving, you’re coming.” She spoke with the tone that Gru knew not to object to. It doesn’t mean he couldn’t try.

“Mom, I’ve got a lot of schoolwork to do.” Possibly the worst excuse because teachers hadn’t given out any homework as per school policy over the holiday weekend.

“Felonius, go put on some nice clothes and while you’re at it put on a nice smile.” His mother said sternly.

Hopefully, Vector had better luck trying to get out of the dinner.

Gru wouldn’t say that he hated Vector. He might call it a very strong dislike, but not hate. When they were kids, they were the best of friends. They did absolutely everything together. It took weeks for their moms to convince them to stop using the bathroom together. Still, Gru wouldn’t go unless Vector held his hand from outside the stall. They would both start crying when their parents would say it was time to go home after their Friday night dinners, and they would win because the Friday night dinners always turned into Friday night sleepovers.

All was great until they got to middle school. Gru started to notice the way people treated Vector compared to him. People would say hi to Vector in the halls (before he got all emo in high school) and not even look Gru’s way. He wasn’t even an afterthought. He was a no-thought. Even their parents acted the same. Vector would get endless praise over the perfect test scores he would get, meanwhile Gru stood in the shadow with a 98. Slowly, Gru got tired of always being in Vector’s shadow and tried to distance himself from him. By the end of eighth grade, the two of them hardly ever spoke to each other. Their parents tried really hard to try to make them work it out, but neither boy was willing. Gru tried to separate himself from Vector, a very difficult feat considering they were neighbours and their mothers were inseparable.

Now, the two only interactions they had were forced by their parents, or pranks they would pull on each other. Gru chose to use the word pranks to describe what they did. Really, others might call it torment. Just last week, Vector put super glue on Gru’s locker right before the period they had an open book test on the Civil War. Basically, they were fighting to have the highest GPA in their year.

Gru decided to wear a blue button-up and black jeans. 

Gru sat as far from Vector as possible and spoke as little as possible. Their moms, as usual, were blabbing about some soap opera they were watching, and Mr. Perkins was making lame dad jokes. Occasionally, one of the adults would ask the boys which colleges they were applying to. They both mumbled the same list of Ivy Leagues.

“Gru, have some more turkey.” Mrs. Perkins offered with her classic mom smile on.

“Oh, no thank you, I’m stuffed, really. It was great.” Gru said. It was true, he was full.

“Oh, Vector has a new computer he crafted. You boys should go check it out.” Mr. Perkins suggested.

“Oh yes, that would be cool, wouldn’t it, Felonius?” Gru’s mother encouraged him.

Gru looked at Vector for the first time that night and they both looked panic-stricken.

“Go on, boys.” Mrs. Perkins all but pushed them up the stairs. Gru let Vector lead the way. Vector wasn’t walking towards his room. Gru knew the room Vector was heading to. It was The Perkins’ alcohol cabinet. Vector fiddled with the lockpick and opened up the cabinet. He handed Gru a bottle of vodka and grabbed a bottle of whiskey for himself.

“We’ll be needing these,” Vector said.

Gru nodded.

Vector walked over to his room and gestured in the direction of a new PC. Gru hated to admit it, but it was cool. He stared at the PC for what felt like hours in an attempt to make things less awkward.

Vector had a similar goal, but a different approach, and took three large gulps of the whiskey. The noise he made after was that of a dying goose and coughed into his arm.

“So it’s a sipping whiskey,” Vector announced. Gru actually chuckled.

Gru wasn’t much of a drinker, but now he felt like he had to, so he took a big swig of vodka and had a similar reaction to Vector. This time, it was Vector’s turn to laugh. He fell back onto his bed and stared at the ceiling. 

It had been a long time since the two of them had giggled together in this room.

Maybe it was the fact that they were both two nerds with absolutely zero alcohol tolerance, or the holiday spirit, but for the first time in years, Gru didn’t feel the desire to run as far as Vector as possible and actually laid down on the bed next to him.

“I remember when we were, like, ten and I stole some wine from my mom. We both thought we were drunk, but it was actually just sparkling juice.” Vector said. It was odd for them to just talk. Gru took another gulp of vodka. It didn’t get any easier each time.

“At least it tasted nicer than this,” Gru mumbled.

Vector sighed, “It was fun, right?”

“Eh.”

There was a long silence that the alcohol helped make seem shorter. It felt like 5 minutes, but it was probably more like 45.

“What ever happened?” Vector asked.

Gru scrunched his nose in confusion. “To what?”

“Our friendship.” Vector replied, as though it were obvious.

Gru shrugged, “It’s normal for friendships to end.” he struggled to articulate the last syllable of friendships.

“But we were best friends, and then one day you just started acting like...I was a pickle you dropped on the floor for six seconds.” Vector said.

Gru didn’t believe in the five-second-rule, but he didn’t point that out.

“I don’t get why we can’t just be friends,” Vector mumbled.

“We hate each other, we can’t be friends.”

Vector didn’t say anything for a bit. This was normal for them, but somehow Gru felt like he had said something wrong.

“You hate me?” Vector asked. Under any other circumstances, Gru would have pointed out how pathetic that sounded, but he was too inebriated to realize it himself.

“I guess so.” Gru said simply.

Vector stayed silent, but he lifted himself off the bed clumsily. Gru heard him march down the stairs and return back to their families. Bold move, considering he was kind of wasted.

A few minutes passed, and Gru felt weird laying alone in Vector’s room. Him being drunk, decided it would be a good idea to rejoin the dinner. Vector made it a point not to look at Gru as he came down. Gru stumbled a bit as he reached for his chair.

“Felonius, are you alright?” His mother asked.

Gru didn’t trust himself to speak so he simply nodded.

The night went on and Vector and Gru completely ignored each other again.

Once they got home, Gru got screamed at for smelling like vodka.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are appreciated
> 
> socials  
> insta - @alecswood + @malecsantiago  
> youtube - malec santago


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